Get Guided Through Your Fundraise, Start to End

The majority of my clients have raised before, often for a previous startup. The reason they know to look for help is they know how hard it is and there is real value in being able to ‘bounce ideas’ off someone that 1/ is impartial and honest, 2/ is not conflicted, and 3/ has a different perspective. If you know more than your friends about raising, the value isn’t me ‘teaching you the basics’, it’s challenging you to be better. And let’s face it, you’re considering help because you’re reading this now. You know you have challenges you want help with.

If you are capable of learning, I can rapidly take you from zero to hero. Starting from a clean slate can be a positive if you just do what I tell you. You will have a lot to learn, but I’ll give you blogs etc so you can learn what you need to when I want you to learn it.

No. I’m only 100% direct and honest when I know you can take it and understand what I’m saying is to help you. If you’re delicate then I will know, and I’ll manage you. After you get to know me, you’ll get more comfortable with my charms and wiley ways and look forward to our calls. Typically, people with anxiety just get focused on not letting me down between calls, which is a positive thing, right?

Yes, but here is the thing… Fundable startups are fundable. This structure is to help you go through a raise with a reasonable expectation you will be successful. I’d much rather you reallocate my fee to your product and marketing budget so you grow to the point you are ready to raise. I know misery loves company, but this isn’t the place. I can do a call with you and tell you what you probably need to focus on for the next 6 months so you are in a place to raise.

No problems. I charge month to month because I know this will happen. If I believe you should stop raising, I’ve no motivation to keep you going ‘because you paid 6 months upfront’. You are free to stop working with me at any time.

I understand startup and raising really well. I typically know what you need to focus on. But it’s your call so you can discuss whatever you want so long as you’re getting value talking to me.

No. I typically help with the same topics, so what I haven’t memorised, isn’t really worth remembering within the scope I anticipate helping you with. Also, if I don’t have the answer, it’s because there isn’t a simple answer. Normally, there are options to be discussed, and a decision needs to be taken based on the available information. There are just not many problems I can’t work through logically.

You absolutely should not hire me to set up your Google Tag Manager analytics, right? On the topic of fundraising, there are certain things I absolutely still want to learn, for example, tactics to build more competition between investors, but I think there is so much ‘it depends’ I’ll never know everything. For your purposes, there’s nothing critical I don’t have an informed opinion on.

100%! I will insist you get a lawyer ASAP. I can discuss commercial elements of contracts etc, but I am NOT a lawyer and will never give you legal advice! This is important.

There are a lot of reasons for this. Firstly, before series-A/B investors hate ‘financial advisors’ generally speaking. In reality, fundraising takes up a lot of time, and I’m just not interested in a ‘day job’, Finally, founders lie. I’ve been burned before and lost relationships with investors because of it. I’m friends with a lot of VCs, and the upside is just not worth the downside.

You will have my personal number. If I’m on a date and you message me with something urgent, I’ll break to focus on you. So use your common sense knowing that. We will do weekly calls, so any big topics are to be covered during the call. You can message me whenever you are having a panic attack, are confused by what to do, have specific questions and want a specific answer. Just apply the ‘no dick head rule’ and we will have no issues! Messaging me every day is fine- 20x a day is stalking and frankly disrespectful of our relationship.

There are many steps to raising, and you will need more help at certain times. Everyone also has personal challenges which are different to others. A curriculum is overly restrictive because the structure is to help you get past your biggest blockers and provide emotional support as needed. I’m not charging you $100k to do everything for you. You’ll get annoyed if I make you learn something you already know, right?

The stage doesn’t really matter to me. You have to be ready to start raising. If you aren’t ready, then come back when you are. Raising an angel round is of course different to a series-b, but there is a lot in common. It’s how you do things which are different. In theory, if you are at the growth stage I can still add a lot of value, but companies up to series-B will get 100x more tangible value.

I only work month to month. Sure, it would be more profitable to tie you into a 6-month contract, but I actually care about helping you. If I can’t keep you as a client whilst you need help, I don’t deserve to have you as a client.

It’s not really the goal of the structure, but you do you. Talking every week means I know what’s going on so we don’t need to recap. But also, the point is to genuinely support you so I’m happy if you are going to be happy, and tell your friends!

Absolutely. We work month to month mainly for convenience but also so I can ensure I have the time to talk to you as a client. I also reserve the right to stop working with you if I’m not enjoying it.

We start with me getting to know you and your challenges. The first few calls involve you getting a lot of homework to do and me reviewing it. I also need to get to know your business. Over time (once your outreach starts) we will agree on a set call structure consisting of 1/ updates, 2/ key blockers, and 3/ new things to do/learn.

You can cancel/move calls up to 24 hours before to respect my time so I can manage my time and other clients. Since I’m important to you, you should be making our time a priority, right? Cancelling 10 minutes before is bad behaviour which I will not tolerate. Equally, I will ensure I never cancel on you at the last notice.

I live in Lisbon, Portugal, which is GMT (Same as London). I am available between mid-day and midnight. This is mainly to accommodate Americans since they’re 95% of my client base. If you’re in Australia, sorry mate, I’m not getting up super late or early! What’s the point of having fuck you money then?

Absolutely. What I will teach you is almost exactly the same regardless of where you live. Fundraising is the same. Now, I have a lot of experience in India, Australia, South East Asia etc which are ‘crappier’ markets, so yes, I can relate to you and will be able to give slightly different advice regarding investors. If you’re in Nepal looking to raise in the USA, then that’s a quick talk, it’s not something we will talk about more than once.

Why do I even have to answer this offensive question!? In my personal life, I only judge people on their intelligence. Now, I will give advice (if you ask) based on your x status. I will teach women to benefit from it. I help ‘older’ people deal with imposter syndrome (I get asked a lot if investors will judge you). I will only discuss these things if you believe you have limiting beliefs, and I need to help build your confidence and reprogram you.

Details. Sure. I can give you a template to fill in. Whatever. I don’t like admin but you’ll get what you need

Nope. It’s just too much work legally for such a small amount (to me), and statistically, you’re going to fail anyway. Just being real. I charge cash upfront every month to keep the dynamic clean and no-nonsense.

I charge one month upfront. It’s for four weeks (4 calls). Messaging is for the month (And FFS, I’m too chill to count days). You pay before we do another call for the next week. I don’t want to chase you etc because it just sets up a negative dynamic, and I want us focused on doing.