FAQs

In short, anyone in startup land who wants to have a technical and strategic discussion.

I consult with:

• Founders: How to raise and review ideas, whether to quit your startup, prioritization plans, financial models, pitch decks, term sheets, go-to-market plan, even branding sometimes…
• Investors: Investment thesis, how to raise, pitch decks, how to offer value add to startups, etc
• Financial advisors: convertible notes, cap tables, ESOP, financial models, how to raise, etc
• Lawyers etc: cap tables, ESOP, content marketing, fundraising processes, etc

To learn more go to startup consulting options.

There are many things that I will not do as it’s boring or someone else would be more economical and capable than me.

I’m an expert at the big picture and figuring out solutions to problems. You come to me to answer the questions you can’t Google, or fall between different types of advisors who don’t quite get what is important and is not as they don’t know better.

Investor outreach for fundraising

I can help you from soup to nuts in your fundraising.

I do NOT do investor outreach.

It’s really simple why. I likely don’t know you from Adam. I spent a lot of money and years making friends with VCs and I’m not about to blow my relationships on you.

If you’re a hot startup, post-series-a, and need help, it’s not hard to make friends with me if you are smart. I occasionally help hot founders for free as it makes me look good.

That’s basically no one though.

Super-specific stuff like optimizing Facebook campaigns

I deal with CAC, channel allocation, etc. I don’t teach or do basic stuff.

I’m too expensive for that and basically, anyone in marketing knows more about the details than I do.

Recruiting

Far too much effort. Just not going there. I also don’t network to keep on top of these relationships anymore so I just don’t know either.

Legal advice

I can talk about legal topics but I am not a lawyer. I do not give legal advice and will always tell you to get a lawyer. I come from a commercial and ‘materiality’ perspective which is different from lawyers.

I can potentially give you better advice than most lawyers about how to structure deals, but I have a real limit. Come talk to me before you go ‘down the road’ with lawyers and I can set you straight so you can save money.

I can help you with anything which involves logic and being impartial:

• Starting: Is your idea viable? How do you launch properly? What do you need to do?
• Scaling: Should you expand to the USA? How to expand to the USA/EU/Asia etc? How to do sales. How to scale effectively.
• Raising: How to run a process? Term sheets, deal structures, financial models, pitch decks, legal terms, convertible notes, what investors to reach out, etc.
• Learning: Broadly speaking, how to get smarter by learning and doing the right things
• Quitting: Should you quit your startup?
• Exiting: Should you exit? How does it work? Valuations, who to get help from, how to negotiate etc

Your options to work with me are:

• Book an hour: I teach you something
• Book a day: I teach a lot
• Have me on retainer: I know what you are up to so I am more informed and can proactively communicate

Throw a stone and you will find someone willing to take your money to give you advice. Only, most are morons.

Life is short. I only accept clients with the following criteria:

• Smarts: You are street or book-smart so it’s productive
• Listen: You’re paying to learn, so shut up and listen when I teach you
• Respectful: I’m trying to help you, so respect my time
• No snowflakes: I have no time for you

I am different as:

• I know my shizzle and prove it on this blog
• I don’t need to work so don’t care if you don’t hire me
• I get bored easily so don’t suffer fools
• I’ve been poor, so I actually get the hustle
• I’ve done enough that I don’t need to brag

Why is this relevant?

The folk who reach out to me and who I like to help explicitly reach out to me for:

• Zero BS. I am one of the few people with no filter. As a female founder said “I made sure I had my armor on for our second call. I’m ready. Rip me to shreds!”
• Pragmatic advice with empirical references: I know startup history. When talking to you I think about how I would do it. I give specific examples of startups that tried what they did before and why it didn’t work.
• Fast-talking with no fluff: I think fast and talk proportionally. I normally get asked to send the recording so they can digest the knowledge I drop (I record all calls for this reason)
• I don’t care about feelings: I’ve been poor and cheerleading doesn’t help. A startup is a business. This can’t be personal, and my advice never is
• Intelligence and desire to learn: I know a lot. Even if you know a lot you, can learn fast from me. If you don’t know much, I will know. I’ll adjust to teaching mode so less insight and more teaching

If the above isn’t for you, I’m not for you. I work with people who just want to win and knowing a third party with no knowledge of their startup is super useful for perspective.

To learn more go to startup consulting options.

What I’ve learned is that what you initially asked of me isn’t the core issue.

Once I listen to you in order to understand your startup, I figure out what the real issue is and that’s what we focus on. At the end of the call, we might end up dealing with your initial question, but it normally comes across like a tactic as opposed to the strategy I focus on, post hoc.

Calls typically work like this:

• Goal setting: I ask what you think your goals of the call are to manage them. If they are unrealistic then I ask you to focus on the key aspects of this call
• Understand: I first seek to understand before being understood. We have a chat and I lead the conversation as I start figuring out what might be the issue.
• Focus: I figure out what the real issues are and I propose them to you. We then dig into them.
• Discussion: We ‘dig into things’ and I give you my views. Founders don’t normally have a discussion like this so we deal with bigger-picture issues which leave you with clarity on what you should be doing, more than just what to do
• Conclusion: I’ll try to nail in some discrete actions for you to execute. Typically founders book a call because ‘who knows’ and we do more calls on execution aspects

I know enough to know I don’t have all the answers.

I never pretend to know more about your business than you do. I apply:

• Socratic
• Didactic
• Facilitative

Methods to help you work through problems.

The way we discuss ‘what to do’ is mainly through the Socratic method. I truly believe that the vast majority of my clients know far more than I do, they just don’t structure their thoughts properly. I ask a lot of questions and challenge everything.

You know the answers, I just help you get there (on strategic things). For tactics, I will didactically tell you what the best practice is.

Just read my blog and tell yourself. Who else can say that?

As one founder said, “you have Y-Combinator level shit!”. Yes, I have a lot of it.

There are a million words, 20+ free tools, and somewhere around 300 videos on YouTube.

I keep being told by friends to ‘brag’ more. Personally, just read my thoughts as they’re more credible than annoying things like I did a TEDx talk.

If you aren’t sure if I can help with your specific problem, then ask (Email me in short bullet points). I actually say if I can’t help, or not.

If I can’t, I’ll say.

It’s really simple to hire me as I have automated everything.

I also keep everything flexible as I know each person has their own needs.

If you want to hire me now, then do this:

1. Go here to book a call
2. Book the time quantity you want (hour, 2, day, etc)
3. The system will charge you upfront, offer scheduling times to pick a time that suits and put it in your calendar
4. We will do a call on Zoom
5. In preparation, please install Zoom, have wifi and a mic (no camera needed)
6. We do call
7. You can book more, or not

You are buying my time. I’m not going to read material ‘in advance’. Book additional time if you want me to spend time undertaking work for you and let me know you want me to allocate time to it.

If you aren’t sure, I recommend doing an hour call with me, and we can agree on what work together would make the most sense.

To learn more go to startup consulting options.

I deal with this stuff a tonne. I know business models. I’ll listen and give you my honest opinion. I take this stuff seriously as I know it is important.

My blog is free, but my time is not.

You need an hour call at min for me to give you high-level feedback. It will take more if there are nuances.

Book a call here

I deal with this stuff a tonne. I know business models. I’ll listen and give you my honest opinion. I take this stuff seriously as I know it is important.

My blog is free, but my time is not.

You need an hour call at min for me to give you my initial impression which is focused on your business model viability. If your business is not simple, it may take a few hours for me to really give you an informed perspective. I am never going to recommend a founder to shut down till I know enough.

Go here to book a call

To be clear, I’m not a life coach or some BS.

I can inspire the crap out of you if what you are doing makes sense, but I won’t if your business model is whack.

I can tell you what to focus on to give you a better shot.

If you need help with setting targets and being accountable I will kick yo ass.

I’m a bit autistic in business focus so I’ll always be focused on your results. The more I know you, I will know how to manipulate you to do what you want to achieve (but might not be doing).

My blog is free, but my time is not.

Go here to book a call

I used to do free calls to add YouTube content. I’m currently not doing this but may in future.

No. That’s the code for free consulting.

My blog is free, but my time is not.

Go here to book a call

Credit card. Up-front.

I charge by the hour for consulting calls. I charge $400 per hour.

If you have random things, then:

• Financial models: I don’t do anything meaningful for less than $3k
• Pitch decks: Go to Perfect Pitch Deck
• Retainers: I charge $2k per month, at basic

To learn more go to startup consulting options.

As with any story, there is a beginning, middle, and end. I can work with you through the whole thing. At each stage what we need to work on is very different.

• Beginning: Explain the process, build a qualified investor list, prepare materials, practice investor pitching and questions, run outreach
• Middle: Running process, what investors mean, etc
• End: Term sheets, negotiation, deal structuring, etc

Charge:

• $2k per month
• Upfront

What you get:

• Call: One hour per week. It can be more or less depending on need (balance out). If you aren’t boring, I’m not anal about timing
• Messaging: You can ping me quick questions on WA/FBM etc that are stressing you out. If I’m awake I’ll ping you back. I’m really helpful, just don’t take the piss. Any big stuff goes on the call

I don’t require a 6-month booking upfront etc. If you aren’t getting value, you don’t have to book again the following month. I know I add value.

To learn more go to the fundraising support structure

I will only teach you what to do, with zero BS and fluff.

I charge $ upfront on an hour or retainer basis.

I’ll teach you everything from soup to nuts. If you want to do your deck, financial model, or whatever, we can do that too.

I do not reach out to investors.

They’re my friends and I value my network. It’s just not worth the risk of sending unfundable deals so my default for everyone (including friends) is no.

To learn more go to the fundraising support structure

Every founder has their own specific issues they need to work through. They often don’t have someone to trust to talk to, because:

• Investors: They give the $ and you don’t want to tell them everything
• Staff: You don’t want to freak them out
• Friends: Likely morons, or won’t be honest as they love you
• Can’t find anyone: Most advisors are morons

I don’t overly define how I help as I know trying to be specific is pointless.

Clients that I work with on retainer want to discuss the most random range of topics, and how we run calls also varies dramatically.

Charge:

• $2k per month
• Upfront

What you get:

• Call: One hour per week. It can be more or less depending on need (balance out). If you aren’t boring, I’m not anal about timing
• Messaging: You can ping me quick questions on WA/FBM etc that are stressing you out. If I’m awake I’ll ping you back. I’m really helpful, just don’t take the piss. Any big stuff goes on the call

I don’t require a 6-month booking upfront etc. If you aren’t getting value, you don’t have to book again the following month. I know I add value.

To learn more go to the startup support structure

That’s why I started my blog. There is a tonne of free content to learn from.

If you are hot shit and know it, then maybe, but you will know if this applies to you.

Depends on my mood 😉 I’m generally happy to have a quick look and tell you if your deck is crap or if it’s good enough. You can email me it.

If you need one-on-one help, then go here to book a call

No. You get a crap deck that way. You have to be the expert. I can only leverage what you know and make it better.

There are plenty of morons that will offer to do this. Don’t be lazy. I do things for a reason.

If you want deck help go to Perfect Pitch Deck

I don’t know anyone who knows more about decks than me. I’ve made so many decks I don’t optionally want to do more.

I offer the following help:

• Custom decks: I charge EUR6k. We do decks from scratch. I teach you a lot. It’s more like management consulting and you get a deck at the end
• Feedback calls: I kick your ass for the duration of the call you book. I charge $400 per hour

If you want deck help go to Perfect Pitch Deck

I only help write decks from scratch. I charge EUR6k. We do decks from scratch. I teach you a lot. It’s more like management consulting and you get a deck at the end

If you want deck help go to Perfect Pitch Deck

No. On a risk-adjusted basis, I would charge the amount a moron would accept (so won’t close the round) and a smart person would not accept.

If there is a real error, I want to know and I’ll fix it ASAP. I love this feedback from you!

However, 99.9% it is you messing up something and not an error in one of my models.

The only errors you might find are:

• Logic: You don’t agree with my logic. I would literally love to know how to improve and don’t get enough feedback! If you aren’t a CFO or a huge nerd, you’re unlikely to fall into this camp
• Wrong link: I try to update models when I make improvements in other models. Honestly, shite happens. I might link ‘basic’ to ‘pro’ whilst changing hundreds of thousands of thousands of formulas.
• Ratios: The metrics don’t make sense. This is you inputting crap assumptions. LTV and CAC are where most people see an ‘error’. It’s not the model, it’s your assumptions being bad

You can contact me here.

That’s you problem. Learn Excel.

Turn on ‘circular calculations’ under formulas.

Watch this video I made for you on circular calculations

Turn on ‘automatic calculations’ under formulas.

Watch this video I made for you on automatic calculations

I don’t sell sneakers, so there are no refunds. You can’t return digital goods.

There are videos, screenshots, and descriptions, as well as the option to ask me any questions before you buy.

If you aren’t sure, ask questions before you purchase. If you really aren’t sure, don’t buy and build your own as I want you to spend your money wisely.

If you don’t pay attention and buy the wrong model, that’s your problem.

Legally speaking, you agreed to terms and conditions saying there are no refunds.

Digital paid downloads are usually set to never expire. If I made a mistake, reply to the email you were sent with the model and I’ll sort it out for you.

The system is automated 100% and I pay a lot for it. You are directed to download and get an email.

Unless you are not paying attention you should have zero issues.

Email me your customer number if you still have issues after following the basics first, including checking your emails.

Absolutely, I can help.

For basic feedback, I charge $400 an hour.

If you want extensive work, I’m not going to figure out the scope, etc for you to ‘try to get new work’. I charge for all time.

The min is going to be $3k.

You can contact me here.

I have spelt this out in some detail on how to fill in a financial model.

If you need more help, then book a consulting call. 

I don’t do that.

They’re not. They are the best in the world that you can purchase. It’s about value. I charge 2x for 100x more value.

If you are doing real Excel work you need Excel.

Google Sheets doesn’t have a lot of Excel functionality.

I only warrant my models work in Excel. I do all sorts of complicated formulas.

I purpose-build models in Google Sheets, and that fact is made obvious when I do in descriptions. See the OKR model, for example.

You should receive a confirmation email immediately, but it may take a few minutes, depending on things I don’t know about. Everything on my site is automated so wait.

Do this:

1. Look for the email: Seriously… You get an email to download the tool
2. Check your email is correct: Yes, some people are morons and input incorrect emails so clearly don’t get emails…
3. Check spam: Whitelist me if so in case you want more

If you don’t get the email, you did something wrong.

I am aware that people have issues downloading tools once they for sure have received the download email.

It’s always your problem, not my system’s.

The key thing that works is this:

• Change browser: I am aware some people have issues with their browsers. Try opening email links in Safari instead of Chrome or Firefox for example

That’s the key thing that works. If it doesn’t, find a techy, use Google. Don’t ask me.

No.

Absolutely.

My blog is free, but my time is not.

Book a paid call to scope your needs. Go here to book a call

If it can be done in an hour on the call I’ll do it, otherwise if it involves a lot of work my minimum fee is $3k as I don’t want to get drawn into random projects.

Check the file extension. It is your problem.

Almost all files are compressed into a .zip file.

You need WinZip or WinRar to uncompress them.

If you have, you need:

• .PPT(X) = PowerPoint (PC)
• .XLS(X) – Excel (PC)
• .KEY = Keynote (Mac)

If you don’t understand, hire a techy to teach you. Don’t ask me.

Of course I can. My blog is free, my time is not.

Go here to book a call

I provide:

• A video
• An explainer of the code
• A blog
• A list of 3 people on Upwork who can help you if you don’t or can’t follow instructions

I had one moron email me “You do it for me or I complain”. I told the guy to go F himself.

Don’t ask me. I taught myself to code to do this for you, you can follow instructions.

Take a course.

I have a free Excel course here.

If you are in SEO don’t bother even emailing.

If you can write better than me on a topic, yes. Please reach out!

No. Please stop being a dick and spamming me.