First Round Capital Holiday Video 2015

It’s Christmas yet again, and the portfolio embarrassment that is First Round Capital’s annual holiday video is out for 2015.

It’s amazing how much effort they must put into making this thing (which started in 2007). The lyrics aren’t bad, though who cares about Safari… seriously.

The Lyrics

Doh doh doh, doh doh doh, doh doh
Doh doh doh, doh doh doh, doh doh

[Josh]: It’s November 23rd, 2015. We’re going to drive all over the city and crash every startup we
possibly can. This is gonna to be awesome.

True grit, not gonna fold
That Pied Piper is pure gold
Another year, we’re still here
New unicorns, big press releases

Stylin’, thrivin’
Startup life ain’t always pretty
Like Black Swans with blinders on
Can’t innovate by committee

Series Seed (Hot damn)
First line of code and it all began
Series A (Hot Damn)
make something people love, man
Series B (Hot Damn)
This ain’t a game, got massive TAM
Series C (Hot Damn)
Not a fad, making money, break it down

(We) Hustle
Scrappy
It all started with our series seed
There’s no fear – just warp speed
Cause in startups there’s no guarantee

Yeah, it’s all about disruption
Not the spotlight
No one ever mentions the sleepless nights

Need to hire and hurry about it
Need to grow my dev team for sure
Do you know a growth team for hire?
Need to find a dev ops engine-ee-eer, whoa

I need candidates to interview
Fill the funnel, fill the funnel
Oh, I need candidates to interview
Fill the funnel, fill the funnel
Oh, I need candidates to interview

You used to offer me a bridge loan
Fund me if things get rough
Offer me a bridge loan
Fund me if things get rough
And I know when the markets swing
We’ll be the one left standing

All we need is First Round to lean on
You take every single piece of the fame if you want to
But you know that we’ve got a clear contrarian point of view

We grow we grow and then we IPO and I speak the truth
Do you really believe “this time it’s different”?

Yeah

Does your website work in Safari?
Cause Chrome, isn’t used by everybody
Oh, does your website work in Safari?
Yeah I know Fidelity marked you down
And we all know your stock price now

Does your website work in Safari?
Cause Chrome, isn’t used by everybody
Oh, does your website work in Safari?

All around our team grows
And we don’t expect it to plateau

Focus, change has come
We’ve got First Round to lean on
Focus, change has come
We’ve got First Round to lean on

Hey, you’re the one I want to fund me
And if you want, I’ll sign your term sheet
There’s nothing I, no I wouldn’t do, I wouldn’t do
Just to get to work with you

All we need is First Round to lean on

Yeah, I know Fidelity marked you down
And we all know your stock price now

I need candidates to interview

Don’t believe me just watch
Don’t believe me just watch

There’s nothing I, no, I wouldn’t do, I wouldn’t do
Just to get to work with you

Ooh watch me, watch me
Ooh watch me, watch me

Ooh watch me, watch me
Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh

Ooh watch me, watch me
Ooh watch me, watch me
Ooh watch me, watch me

Startup
Startup

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